Supa_sta (August)

Okay...lemme start from the beginning of the weekend......all the way from Friday night. Audz and I wanted to win a car...hahaha...yah right...so we went for the Free Car Friday event at Metro City. We were apparently, the first two ladies to arrive and we soon became the only two ladies I reckon. *laughs*.....It was damn psycho. Anyway, we'll be getting in for free next month and plus we have a $50 bar tab...muahahhaha! Looks like i'll be downing a lot of coke/orange juice......yes...yes......Ooooo....which reminds me of the Virgin Mary drink I ordered without knowing it was tomato juice....ewwwwww! Sickkkkkk!

So anyway....the real story took place on Saturday night. As it was the last Saturday of the month, it was supa_sta night. The first 2 hours went by.....quite uneventful. We then took a break.....so while we were sitting down at our usual spot, Audz spotted the shorties.......like seriously, how can a guy look sooooo sweet? Ahhh.....he makes me smile....hahaha...

After 45 minutes or so, we went to the Kebab area and after about 10 minutes, we thought....all right...let's go dance again and then leave later at 3. So we went to the dance floor and like 5 minutes later, Audz went, "He's here......he's here!" I thought she was talking about the shorties....and so I was gonna say, " Okay.......didn't we establish that already?" Then she told me to look on my left where the guy in cap was dancing oh-so-raunchily with this girl and she urged me to look at the front after that. And then.......I saw him....my "15-yr-old" sidestepper..... *smiles dreamily*.....he's soooo cute....as per usual...he impressed me with his moves........yes Audz...he made my night....and you MADE IT HAPPENED!hahahahahahahahha.......wow....I'm so happy.....you spotted well, neighbahhh!

Oh well......whatever it is, that was a good night. I can't believe the Cats' ball is this coming Saturday and I'm leaving for Sydney the next day after badminton. I'm soooo nervous!! Please God...let everything go well......

Feel the love

I often ask myself..."Why is it so hard to keep moving forward (in other words, to just do what I have to do to achieve my goals) when I've got so much support from my loved ones?" It's really bothering me quite a bit....well....it's bothering me. period. I'm thinking....okay....I have so many people backing me....people who are there to keep pushing me to work harder...yet, I'm constantly held back by my fears. It happens so frequently that it's becoming quite ridiculous in my opinion.

There are so many other things in life....so manyyy.....! Why is it that one small problem or setback can make me so upset to the point of giving up? Okay...maybe not to the point of giving up coz I'm rather optimistic but it's just....y'know that feeling of disappointment...i hate that. And I worry too much as well. I keep telling myself that there are many happier things in life that I can think of...that if I don't do well in something, it's not the end of the world. Everyone should be given space to fail sometimes...really. It's so stiffling to know that I need to succeed in everything I've set myself to do.

I just wanna live in the moment. I wanna embrace life as it is and not be sooo stressed out all the time. I want to be contented with what I have in me, within me and around me because my life has been soooo blessed thus far. I want to never take pride in materialistic and superficial stuff but to be happy with the person I've become or the person I would like to become......someone compassionate, someone kind and someone who gives without expecting anything in return. I want to grow stronger spiritually and emotionally. I long for that feeling of utter bliss.....of pure comfort in knowing that I'm happy where I am....that I've achieved what I've meant to do.

It's a longgg way really.......and first, I shall begin with what I have right here, right now... the love around me....and I need to move on.....leave the unnecessary past behind....

"Don't cry coz it's over.....Smile coz it happened....".....I will always keep the memories of 2003 & 2004 in my heart....no matter how much things have changed.....I just gotta leave the remorse
behind...that's all....

p/s it was my first night at the tuckshop.....it went all right i guess...heheh....gotta back me up next week, hommie....and I soooo need to bring down my calculator!

Human rights and Islam

I'm glad I went for today's symposium...of course, I wouldn't miss it since I've already paid for it but it was raining rather heavily and I wasn't feeling too good....plus I had the flow...THE FLOW....hmmm....pardon the pun...I think only Jamil will get this....unless she's too blur to understand.

Anyway, I was greatly entertained by the many opinions shared. What I'm really happy about is that many of my thoughts have been reiterated especially by Dr Akhbar Ahmed. He mentioned a few ways on how to continue bridging the gap between Muslims and the rest of the world....one of which is through education. He also emphasized on the importance for us to turn to our Islamic scholars for a more accurate interpretation of the religion rather than listening to people who are not fully-equipped with the proper knowledge. This is precisely the reason why I would rather look for those who know more and better when I stumble upon a question that is testing what limited knowledge I have of my religion than to debate about it with some people who are just for show. (sorry...a bit of ghetto talk here)

It was a good symposium with very cogent speakers. They have indeed raised some issues that have got me thinking....hmmm food for thought.....Ooooo....and Kate's baby is soooo cuteeeee!! Again...check out the pics at rangelle.multiply.com....

The ultimate 4M event

MISSION COMPLETED!

What is the 4M mega event? It consists of 4 different party places that start with the letter 'M'....oh yes...if you've checked out my pictures @ rangelle.multiply.com, you would know what I'm talking about. Yes...It was pure madness yet it allowed me to have such immense fun with different groups of people!

I don't think there'll be another 4M ever....it's a once in a lifetime kinda thing but it will be forever remembered. In years to come, I could say, "been there, done that"....and I know for sure that once I return to Singapore, I'll be leaving this lifestyle behind. Not because of the context I'll be in but more because of the kind of life I would like to lead thereafter. This Perth lifestyle that I have is something I would like to remember as being "that life I led for 4 years when I was a Uni student" and it's best left behind with all the other wonderful memories.

In embarking on the next chapter of my life, I would rather look back on these memories than to live them all over again because I think I've had enough. Like seriously, if you do what I've done, I reckon you would feel the same. It is not my culture anyway and it has never become mine. But I let myself experience it as I am in pursuit of a greater mind which only comes with me embracing every culture there is possible on this Earth, without losing my own identity.

With that said, I am looking forward to my life back in SG. I know I'm gonna miss what Perth has offered me thus far and I would like to return as a tourist next time round...(or hey...i might return as a student again...but not for a very longgg time!)...I wouldn't even mind investing in a place here coz I know it so well by now and I am beginning to appreciate what it truly is about.

So....hopefully, the new chapter in my life will bring me more exciting experiences....insyaallah...

Happy 40th Birthday, Singapore!

Yesterday's formal hall commemorating Singapore's 40th birthday was a success. I was Sang Nila Utama's assistant and the Temenggong. Well....that's about the end of my acting career.
Apparently, Lynn is still laughing about my reaction to them clapping at a wrong part of the song "Singapore Town".

Anyway, went down to the Tav to rejoice with the rest of the Singaporeans...half of whom I haven't met my entire Uni life...HAHAH! Retz and his SSS gang couldn't get the video to work...so i left earlier coz i was too damn famished. Oh well.....there's no way I'm gonna miss it next year.

Hope everyone had a good national day back home....!

"Give me the beat boys and free my soul" - Drift away

Honestly, I cannot be bothered with people who just want me to jaga their hati and yet, they never do the same for me. People who think they can do stuff and still say "we're tight" and then, when I do the same, they think I'm being bitchy. Have I not mentioned that one other phrase I live by --> "do unto others what you want others to do unto you"? Oops...sorry...maybe I forgot to make it darn clear that I do not tolerate nonsense.

Often, I try to be nice to everyone because you know..."what goes around comes around"...I believe in karma. However, I also believe that I should never make myself unhappy just because I need to accommodate the attitudes of some others....I cannot please everyone...I know that much. Yes...so I'm a complicated character....I bet there are so many other people who think this is the best way to watch their backs. It's called "survival". So please my dear fellow Earthian...don't turn around and say "You are treating me bad" when you do not appreciate the attention I gave you in the first place.

This is a typical human reaction seriously....a typical reaction from people who are just meant to lose something good they have, which they do not treasure beforehand. When you have it, you take it for granted. And then, when you realise that you're losing it, you start to search for something to blame this loss on. It's pathetic! At least, if you realise that it's you who need to do some soul-searching, I will say..."okay...that's cool...that's what it's all about". But hey...if you turn around, and put the shit on the other person...i say "piss off!"

Do not try to beat me at my own game. Do you think you can turn around and give me attitude and subsequently blame me for losing my interest and committment in this thing called "friendship"? Well...think again. Once you've lost my care and concern, you've lost it. I wouldn't even complain if you actually do some "greater than you" thing to try and salvage the situation but what angers me is this "oh so you wanna get bitchy? let's go!" attitude because that's bull!

Mannn....it's so sickening. Even though things are not said out in the open, I know what's going on. It's not hard to see or guess because I'm soooo in the game. But like I've said....if you're not happy, say it. I'll lay ur shit down as much as you think you can lay my shit down on me. If not, let me do things my way. Sorry if you don't like the way things are....but hey....you win some, you lose some. At least, I know who I can depend on and who I can't. I am not afraid to show my love for those who are sincerely there for me. Simultaneously, I am neither afraid nor reluctant to let go of those who are fake and who only cramp my style by being too "in-yr-face" all the time.

August winds

My weekend has started...yes indeed. I felt so relieved as I walked back from my seminar. I've always loved the feel of the evening wind on my face.....looking up at the sky, I begin appreciating the wonders of this amazing life. Whenever I am in such a moment, I feel so motivated and undeterred. Seriously, it is fantastic! I would love to bask in such a glorious sensation but I am always rudely transported back to reality where there are deadlines to be met, goals to be achieved and obstacles to get through.

However, I've always believed in taking the time out to appreciate the finer things in life.....to give a bit more attention to the beautiful things and people that surround me. Ahhh....I love this weather even though it's really, really cold sometimes. It makes me think more positive than ever!

Yesterday, as I listened to some songs, I am reminded of a somehow unresolved issue between a close friend and I. At that moment, I felt like emailing her but I realised that there are some things that she needs to experience and work it out herself in order to learn the value of certain things in life. No matter what, I still treasure this friendship and I hope she will soon wake up from her stupor. I believe that our future consists of many other brilliant things and us witnessing the unfolding of many memorable events of not just our own personal journey but of those whom we hold dear....these people I'm talking about are those whom have been with me for so many years now....and hopefully, those whom I've learnt to love these past 3 1/2 years.