Feel the love

I often ask myself..."Why is it so hard to keep moving forward (in other words, to just do what I have to do to achieve my goals) when I've got so much support from my loved ones?" It's really bothering me quite a bit....well....it's bothering me. period. I'm thinking....okay....I have so many people backing me....people who are there to keep pushing me to work harder...yet, I'm constantly held back by my fears. It happens so frequently that it's becoming quite ridiculous in my opinion.

There are so many other things in life....so manyyy.....! Why is it that one small problem or setback can make me so upset to the point of giving up? Okay...maybe not to the point of giving up coz I'm rather optimistic but it's just....y'know that feeling of disappointment...i hate that. And I worry too much as well. I keep telling myself that there are many happier things in life that I can think of...that if I don't do well in something, it's not the end of the world. Everyone should be given space to fail sometimes...really. It's so stiffling to know that I need to succeed in everything I've set myself to do.

I just wanna live in the moment. I wanna embrace life as it is and not be sooo stressed out all the time. I want to be contented with what I have in me, within me and around me because my life has been soooo blessed thus far. I want to never take pride in materialistic and superficial stuff but to be happy with the person I've become or the person I would like to become......someone compassionate, someone kind and someone who gives without expecting anything in return. I want to grow stronger spiritually and emotionally. I long for that feeling of utter bliss.....of pure comfort in knowing that I'm happy where I am....that I've achieved what I've meant to do.

It's a longgg way really.......and first, I shall begin with what I have right here, right now... the love around me....and I need to move on.....leave the unnecessary past behind....

"Don't cry coz it's over.....Smile coz it happened....".....I will always keep the memories of 2003 & 2004 in my heart....no matter how much things have changed.....I just gotta leave the remorse
behind...that's all....

p/s it was my first night at the tuckshop.....it went all right i guess...heheh....gotta back me up next week, hommie....and I soooo need to bring down my calculator!