Losing is painful....

I've been thinking....yes I have....*surprise surprise*....why do people always assume that those who go overseas change....and almost always, they seem to think we would change into some screwed-up, impertinent, nose-high freaks? Really.....it's so untrue....not in my case...some changes are good and these are the changes I'm proud to harvest because I feel it has contributed to the person I've grown into today. But seriously, I'm still ME....with just a lil' bit more patience....and more maturity definitely. I love the same old things and of course, some new ones.....I swear by the same old principles.....If anything, my grip on life is so much stronger.

But what is bothering me is ....oh well...I'm just scared.....scared to face those who have changed so much that I am becoming uncomfortable around them....and these are the people who are in Singapore mind you..Actually, I don't even mean people....just one person....and she's so dear to me yet I feel I can't reach out to her anymore. I really feel like I've lost her....not totally but give it a bit more time and I would have. We have all promised one another that we will stay together....we promised to be real with one another.....we promised we would be there for one another and somehow, something has changed.....I just don't know for certain what has indeed been lost....our promises? ourselves? I don't know.....

One thing that I can still be absolutely certain about is that I'm still gonna be there....and I know THEY are doing just as much too.....but something's missing.....something that we have had for sooo long is slowly dying....and that's what I'm upset about....We've been so lucky thus far....has Lady Luck decided to stop shining down on us? Maybe it's because I've been away for so long that I don't see the emergence of some things.....they may have been gradual....but then again, I've only noticed it recently.....Maybe I'm just being paranoid....

I know that I, for one, have been very lucky...to have grown up with so many people who are still with me till today.....to have grown up in a household that will give me anything and everything......I also know things can't always be rosy all the time....Whatever it is, I'm holding on to the fact that we have pledged our continuing loyalty....the most recent is when we engraved the rings.....oh wait a minute.....She, whom I'm concerned about, is without it....hmmmm......

Actually.....I think it could be my mood swings that are affecting my thoughts as well...